During the consolidation period, the memory can be modulated—

an antonym, against a name, so thinking, she lost her head, she forgot where memories were kept; she had a jarful of almonds at hand, and so, she was storing, she remembered.

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I have planed

and deplaned for you London, tensed and untensed (present and past)–we made plans & lost them, know now, full well, that the verb “to plan” contains its own antonym.

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Swamp monsters, I surmise,

occasionally like to wear blood-red lipstick and slip on high-heeled shoes (I’m catching a plane tomorrow, flats are more functional); which is to say, I have now dated two men with well-dressed women buried in swamps near their childhood homes.

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The past returns as a monster, which is to say

composed of itself in a different order–I have my first tattoo at 29, a map, and London is not on it, it is a way of letting things remain; I have now dated two women with train cars

buried near their childhood homes.

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I should like to disappear, Chicago,

I think, into a city veined with slick and cobbled streets, with stones once taken up in battle—the fervor of these roads has passed, but tensions echo, begging for stonecutters, and a ghost of conflict pulls down weary heads in a place called harmony.

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History

threatens us all with disappearance, London: among the objects of curiosity were “a number of more exotic items, including Jacob’s Coat of Many Colours, long since lost.”

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Chicago: On the Ashmolean

From the time of its opening members of the public were admitted [....] this measure was noted with disapproval by one German visitor in 1710 who expressed his surprise at the numbers of “ordinary folk” who were allowed to run free [....]

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Ash, London,

is what we find inside wood, inside buildings, inside each of us, is the thing revealed by heat, is (as you noted) the secret heart of gray.

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Re: Chicago

There is only yourself to blame, I see, and what is it about blame that is so attractive, and what is it about the shift from a-to-e that makes grey slimmer, more demure (or is it e-to-a that indulges gray’s thick, stubby toes?), what cities are these (what citizens?) to delight in such græy-play—come, and show me another.

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Re:

Re: res, in reference to–there’s a man here in your old neighborhood who is giving me the stink-eye; the resemblance of the landscape is no accident, the theory of course being that Wordsworth made London gray, before that it was a city like any other city; in Chicago we have ourselves to blame.

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